I just pynch a tree in the face
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
