im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
