honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
