He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
