I skipped work to stalk him.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He felt like a one man threesome
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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