remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
