i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im about as happy as oj after his trial
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
