Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
