OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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