what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just had sex on a roof
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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