i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
