But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
