you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
