They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
