do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
