I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
