So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
