I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Randomize
