Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
