she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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