Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
