Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
