Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
