we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
