yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
