At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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