If i come over, it means nothing
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
