YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
