He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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