And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
