I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
