I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
