We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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