How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
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