Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
