dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
