We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
