i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
