i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I stole a fireplace last night.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
