Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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