we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Mom said you looked used
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
