Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just sucked dick on a ferry
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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