Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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