is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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