Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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