i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
