Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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