Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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