hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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