Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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