Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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